in the land of the blind

It’s been about two weeks since I’ve written in any of my blogs, and to be honest, I haven’t been reading many either. I’ve been working out a bunch of things, most of which don’t need public viewing, but the one thing I need to tell people is about my dog.

Miss Amelia is now blind in one eye.
She runs the distinct risk of going blind in the other.

Amelia suffers from a disease called pigmentary uveitis, in which pigment is deposited in the eye and causes inflammation. The experts believe it’s a genetic, immune-deficiency disease, and it affects Golden Retrievers most. For Miss Amelia, the pigment was deposited in the back of her lens in a big clump, and the resulting inflammation caused an anterior lens luxation. Steroid drops helped the lens lux go away, but the pigment on the back of the lens capsule prevents any light from getting through to her retina. It’s odd looking at her in certain light conditions and seeing that there is no more saffron glow from her left eye.

It might be an interesting bit of fate that I discovered that my pup was outright blind in one eye on a particular day. May 11th, Mother’s Day, was when the vet thought she had just a straight up lens luxation. I was teary but the vet thought a $3000 surgery could cure it, if done within the next couple of days. At that point my frustration was the lack of funds with which to provide her with this surgery. So I spent much of Mother’s Day feeling like I’d failed my baby girl since I couldn’t afford to give her the emergency surgery. It was on Tuesday the 13th that I discovered that it was too late, and there was no way her sight in that eye would return.

She’s not in pain right now, though she’s run into a number of things (including other dogs) and sometimes trips over small objects. I have the assurance from the dog ophthalmologist, Dr. Vanessa Kuonen of NYC Vet Specialists, that she’ll get used to the lack of sight and will compensate so long as I manage the disease. She needs steroid drops in her eyes every day for the rest of her life now, so she doesn’t develop more inflammation or possibly severe glaucoma. I also have to take her to the ophthalmologist every 4-6 weeks for checkups. It’s something I can do without any worries (other than making sure I have the money), but now kenneling her will be more of an issue since a daily medication is part of the equation.

When I first found out she couldn’t see out of her left eye, the part that hit me hardest was the idea that she couldn’t chase the ball anymore. She’s always been somewhat poorly sighted, and to have an eye that was now completely blind was an additional detriment. However, once she was fully diagnosed, the doctors suggested she now use only squeaky or giggly balls, and when we experimented, she definitely did better with those. She still loses track of the ball at least twice as often as she used to, but she still enjoys herself a lot, and to me that’s all that matters. It’s truly a pity that the jingle rope ball that I used to use with her is no longer being made, since she loved those the best.

As far as how Amelia’s dealing with it? Now that the eye isn’t inflamed and doesn’t hurt anymore, she seems fairly happy, though she gets annoyed when she bumps into things. She hears just fine (*knock wood*), but the lack of sight is making her a lot more prone to ignore my commands when she’s sniffing something. Pup stubbornness, I think, but who knows? I could easily believe that for a dog who’s lost sight and didn’t smell that well to begin with, she’s pretty intent on making sure she catches as much as possible. She certainly refuses to believe she’s an old dog – with the way she acts, it’s hard to believe she’s going to be 11 in December. Projecting a refusal to believe she’s part blind isn’t a stretch at all.

Now that I’ve mostly come to terms with it all, I’m trying to get my writing – and, honestly, myself – back on track. Hopefully everything will be caught up soon.